I rarely say what I mean... Think about it, how often do you truly say the first thing that crosses your mind in response to a situation- now double that and that is probably how much I censor what I really think.
So much of what of what I say and how I respond to situations is just watered-down versions of what I really feel. I'm afraid of offending someone or coming off wrong or sometimes just scared of what I am feeling that the safer option is just to say sort of a half-truth or a partial portion of what you are thinking or feeling.
However, I have these few select friends who have really reached the point where I feel like I can truly say what I feel and to the extent of what I feel. In these friendships I feel secure enough to just say whatever my initial reaction is without censoring it.
There is a power in that...there is sincere freedom in being able to be who you are...to the full extent of yourself. And I've found that's incredibly rare...
Genuine and authentic friendship...where there is freedom to be how you and who you are.
One of the most real moments I've had in my life recently came from a friend on particularly bad night. It was a night where the world and all of its complexities had overwhelmed me and I couldn't seem to make the pieces of my life fit togehter. I was emotional and feeling more than a little desperate... I was really trying to keep it togehter, keep the mask on, hold back the emotions and I simply just burst into tears. While crying, I just kept apologizing. I felt so bad for "falling apart"....
My friend took my hands and told me "You never have to apologize for what you are feeling. You simply have to feel it."
The freedom in that moment was immense. I felt that the walls could crumble, the barriers could come down, and the masks could be off and that it would be okay.
What would it look like if we started allowing people (ourselves included) to be real, authentic, and emotional? What if we left our masks at the door and broke down the walls?
What if we stopped making people feel guilty for genuine sadness or absolute joy?
Then maybe people would start saying what they mean and really meaning what they say. They would respond to things with authentic feelings and not be afraid to share their thoughts the first time they think them? Maybe the channels would open for healthier and deeper conversation and we could really start to get to know each other...
What kind of community would that build? What kind of freedom is there in simply being able to be yourself? Without conditions or apologies....
No comments:
Post a Comment