NYWC- processing part 1

So I've finally found time to sit down and start processing my experience at the National Youth Workers Convention here in Nashville a couple weeks ago. It was a great, much needed experience for several reasons- non of which actually have much to do with the workshops, or general sessions, or any of the nuts and bolts learning that I usually take so much from.

This year the NYWC provided me with three things my soul has been starving for:


The first, is the chance to actually worship. To openly worship in a worship service that I didn't plan, was not responsible for facilitating, and basically had nothing to lose in worshipping the way I pleased. I could sing if I wanted to sing, or just soak in the experience as it hit me. I realized at NYWC that I am missing this in my life. Week after week, I facilitate worship and lead worship but I never get to simply experience worship like that myslef. And that is one of the things that sends healing to my soul most directly.

The second thing, is that an opportunity presented itself at YS to sit down and be brutally honest about how I've been feeling, what I've been struggling with, and questions I'm wrestling through with a mentor and teacher. I can't describe how amazing it feels to have the burden of carrying around these worries and questions and not be able to quite share the entire story with any one person. I realized at YS, that there are people I share bits and pieces of stuff with, but there are very very few people who I actually feel safe enough to give the whole story to. Needless to say, the long talks and discussions that this teacher engaged in with me provided me with much needed sanctuary for my feelings and worries, as well as objective wisdom and perspective on the situation.

The third things, (which ties in closely with the above) was that NYWC provided me with community of peers. Now- I have friends and community- but most of my surronding community through no fault of their own are in quite different life situations. Some are married, some have children, some are gay/lesbian, some are retired, etc. Now all of these people who are in different life situations are extremely important to me and I value their relationships highly, but there is something to be said with sitting down with another twenty something year old straight single person who works at a church and just being able to enjoy that community. I love my friends dearly (some of which I'm afraid might be hurt by this last part of my post, but that is not my intention. I'm just trying to be honest). But I guess I'm realizing that I need some community in more similar life situations- that this might help ease the feelings of lonliness and isolation I've been struggling with.

So what have I processed so far? That apparently three of the missing things in my life are worship, sanctuary, and community. Sounds like I'm in need of a church. Which is quite ironic. All things considering.

More to process, more to come.