Christmas is not a time or a season
but a state of mind.
To cherish peace and good will,
to be plenteous in mercy,
is to have the real spirit of Christmas.
If we think on these things,
there will be born in us a Savior
and over us will shine a star
sending its gleam of hope to the world."

~ Calvin Coolidge

NYWC, Part Deux

Ok, the processing continues.


This year at the National Youth Workers Convention, there seemed to be a slight political overtone. Maybe political isn't the word- but there was a definite overtone.

For the most part (Disclaimer- notice I didn't say ALL) , the general sessions focused on what we are doing wrong as a church or the places where we weren't doing enough. Some of the people giving talks seemed angry almost. I'm not sure where the anger originated or maybe if it was frustration just being played out as anger- but the overall tone translated to me as if I was a disappointment.

Now I know they weren't talking to me personally, or anything. But as they were addressing us as youth ministers and people who are the church, it felt kind of personal.

Most of the anger or the frustration I felt came out when specifically people were speaking of the economy or financial security.

Speakers were talking about giving away our retirements so as not to support the current system, or about how to cancel health insurance and give that money away. Now these are interesting ideas and I'm sure in some situations that individuals do both of these things to glorify God, but I think that maybe that even in the Church world that we've become so focused on money- On who has it and who doesn't, the lack of it and the surplus of it- that maybe we are missing the real point.

I want to clarify and say- YES! I think that there are serious problems with our financial situations, economies, and stewardship of the aforementioned. HOWEVER, I don't think me ignoring the fact that I should actually save for retirement is the answer.

I think that we've become so narrow minded as we focus on the "poor." Every time I've heard the term "poor" used in the past year, its been around what I can do financially to help people. YES this is a good thing, and YES I think Jesus wants us to all live in a world where kids don't die of hunger and people are freezing to death.

But I also think that we've taken the concept of who the "poor" are and gotten tunnel vision where this term is concerned.

I think that there are many ways to be poor.
Poor as in financially, yes.
But there is also, poor in spirit.
Poor in heart. Being poor in emotions. Poor in community. Poor in fellowship.

Money isn't the only thing people are lacking. Food isn't the only thing people are starving for lack of.

And not once during the conference, did I hear people address how we can best help people whose hearts are starving for love, even if their stomachs are full. Not once did I hear how we can help people properly grieve during a time where families are broken everyday. Not once did I hear the importance of encouraging someone who is poor in spirit, at the end of their rope, and ready to give up.

And I think that's where I'm frustrated. Do I hurt at the thought of anyone going to bed hungry and cold? Of course. But it also grieves me to know that there are people who are starving for affection. Hungry for someone simply to care. People who have food and cloths and health insurance, but don't have a clue about what Real Love is....or Who Real Love is.

I think that Jesus would be ashamed at our tunnel vision. Ashamed that we are only reaching out to a section of the poor.

Do I feel called to sell my car and give up health insurance and donate that money to charity? No. Not especially. I feel like I do need to do more for the physically poor, but I am doing something.

But do I feel called to do all that I can for those who are starving for love? those who are starving for a new idea of what family is? Do I feel called to people who may materially have it all, but emotionally and spiritually have nothing?

yes. That is the place I'm called to.

And I think the NYWC convention made me feel belittled or less, because my calling isn't so specifically to address the physical hunger.

But my calling is not less. Its just different.

Each is a vital part of what the CHURCH should look like.

For some are arms, some are legs, some are eyes, others ears.... Each plays a different part, but each is a necessary role for the entire body to work.

NYWC- processing part 1

So I've finally found time to sit down and start processing my experience at the National Youth Workers Convention here in Nashville a couple weeks ago. It was a great, much needed experience for several reasons- non of which actually have much to do with the workshops, or general sessions, or any of the nuts and bolts learning that I usually take so much from.

This year the NYWC provided me with three things my soul has been starving for:


The first, is the chance to actually worship. To openly worship in a worship service that I didn't plan, was not responsible for facilitating, and basically had nothing to lose in worshipping the way I pleased. I could sing if I wanted to sing, or just soak in the experience as it hit me. I realized at NYWC that I am missing this in my life. Week after week, I facilitate worship and lead worship but I never get to simply experience worship like that myslef. And that is one of the things that sends healing to my soul most directly.

The second thing, is that an opportunity presented itself at YS to sit down and be brutally honest about how I've been feeling, what I've been struggling with, and questions I'm wrestling through with a mentor and teacher. I can't describe how amazing it feels to have the burden of carrying around these worries and questions and not be able to quite share the entire story with any one person. I realized at YS, that there are people I share bits and pieces of stuff with, but there are very very few people who I actually feel safe enough to give the whole story to. Needless to say, the long talks and discussions that this teacher engaged in with me provided me with much needed sanctuary for my feelings and worries, as well as objective wisdom and perspective on the situation.

The third things, (which ties in closely with the above) was that NYWC provided me with community of peers. Now- I have friends and community- but most of my surronding community through no fault of their own are in quite different life situations. Some are married, some have children, some are gay/lesbian, some are retired, etc. Now all of these people who are in different life situations are extremely important to me and I value their relationships highly, but there is something to be said with sitting down with another twenty something year old straight single person who works at a church and just being able to enjoy that community. I love my friends dearly (some of which I'm afraid might be hurt by this last part of my post, but that is not my intention. I'm just trying to be honest). But I guess I'm realizing that I need some community in more similar life situations- that this might help ease the feelings of lonliness and isolation I've been struggling with.

So what have I processed so far? That apparently three of the missing things in my life are worship, sanctuary, and community. Sounds like I'm in need of a church. Which is quite ironic. All things considering.

More to process, more to come.