The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong. –Ghandi
I think we often confuse forgiveness with reconciliation.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same things. You see, forgiveness is always possible. However, reconciliation is sometimes not possible or least extremely unlikely.
You can forgive someone, but not reconcile the wrong. You can not reconcile however, without forgiving.
Forgiveness is personal. It has everything to do with you. Its how you feel and how you choose to handle the wrong that has been done. Forgiveness or lack of forgiveness is the choice you make on how you will handle what has been done to you. Forgiveness is a choice you make, and has nothing to do with the offending party except that they are the recipient of the gift.
When you choose to forgive someone, what you are doing is giving yourself permission to move on. To choose to stop holding a debt against them. Releasing the burden of hurt you’re carrying around. The wrong is still there and you probably hurt, but you don’t feel the weight of holding a grudge against the offender.
It is not easy. It’s counter-intuitive really. Our human nature tells us: “They hurt me. I want to hurt them.” To choose to forgive someone who has wounded you, goes against our basic instincts. We don’t want to be the first to fold and we want to stand our ground. We live in a world where letting go of the grudge first is seen as “giving in” or being the “weak” one.
Forgiveness is anything but easy. It’s an exercise in grace. Its letting go of our human nature, desires, will to hurt what hurts us and letting something larger, something more graceful take over our selves.
Forgiveness is an act of love. In the letter of Corinthians, one of the identifying characteristics of love is that it “keeps no records of wrongs” (chap 13, v 5). Forgiveness is choosing to even the score again. To level the playing field. To not keep the wrong that has occurred in the back pocket to throw out in the next fight along with the kitchen sink. Forgiveness is loving well.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that “forgive and forget” is the best advice here. Cause in some cases, you definitely need to forgive and REMEMBER. Remember that they hurt you, hit you, betrayed you. Remember that so you put yourself in a position to be hurt again. But you can forgive them. You can free yourself of their hold on you. You can choose to no longer hold a grudge even if you keep a barrier in place.
Protect your heart from others hurting it. But sometimes, we need to forgive to protect our hearts from ourselves. From becoming hard. Or grudgeful. Or bitter.
Forgiveness is not easy. It takes time, strength, gumption, and humility to be able to look at someone who has wounded you and choose to let go of the hurt and forgive them. To choose to act lovingly towards them when are acting in the opposite manner towards you. Forgiveness takes strength and courage. Its hard to free someone of a debt that hurt you. But in the end, the person you end up freeing is mainly yourself.
I think we often confuse forgiveness with reconciliation.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same things. You see, forgiveness is always possible. However, reconciliation is sometimes not possible or least extremely unlikely.
You can forgive someone, but not reconcile the wrong. You can not reconcile however, without forgiving.
Forgiveness is personal. It has everything to do with you. Its how you feel and how you choose to handle the wrong that has been done. Forgiveness or lack of forgiveness is the choice you make on how you will handle what has been done to you. Forgiveness is a choice you make, and has nothing to do with the offending party except that they are the recipient of the gift.
When you choose to forgive someone, what you are doing is giving yourself permission to move on. To choose to stop holding a debt against them. Releasing the burden of hurt you’re carrying around. The wrong is still there and you probably hurt, but you don’t feel the weight of holding a grudge against the offender.
It is not easy. It’s counter-intuitive really. Our human nature tells us: “They hurt me. I want to hurt them.” To choose to forgive someone who has wounded you, goes against our basic instincts. We don’t want to be the first to fold and we want to stand our ground. We live in a world where letting go of the grudge first is seen as “giving in” or being the “weak” one.
Forgiveness is anything but easy. It’s an exercise in grace. Its letting go of our human nature, desires, will to hurt what hurts us and letting something larger, something more graceful take over our selves.
Forgiveness is an act of love. In the letter of Corinthians, one of the identifying characteristics of love is that it “keeps no records of wrongs” (chap 13, v 5). Forgiveness is choosing to even the score again. To level the playing field. To not keep the wrong that has occurred in the back pocket to throw out in the next fight along with the kitchen sink. Forgiveness is loving well.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that “forgive and forget” is the best advice here. Cause in some cases, you definitely need to forgive and REMEMBER. Remember that they hurt you, hit you, betrayed you. Remember that so you put yourself in a position to be hurt again. But you can forgive them. You can free yourself of their hold on you. You can choose to no longer hold a grudge even if you keep a barrier in place.
Protect your heart from others hurting it. But sometimes, we need to forgive to protect our hearts from ourselves. From becoming hard. Or grudgeful. Or bitter.
Forgiveness is not easy. It takes time, strength, gumption, and humility to be able to look at someone who has wounded you and choose to let go of the hurt and forgive them. To choose to act lovingly towards them when are acting in the opposite manner towards you. Forgiveness takes strength and courage. Its hard to free someone of a debt that hurt you. But in the end, the person you end up freeing is mainly yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment