Days Like Today Make Me Want To:

~ have a lemonade stand
~ drive country roads with the windows down
~ wear a sundress
~ play in the dirt
~ paint something with really bright colors
~ be on the lake
~ grill out
~ smile
~be a kid again

So lately I've been blogging from kind of a pessimistic perspecitive. I've been spending way too much time in the "dark and twisty" places i(located and named courtesy of my newfound love for Grey's Anatomy) inside of me. I've been in a really awful funk. And I think I've finally come through that.

I mean- there is so much goodness and joy in life, why get all caught up in the darkness?

Don't get me wrong, I will be the first one to admit bad things happen. People get hurt. Hearts get broken. We find ourselves in situations with no clear answer and no easy way out. Life can hurt.

But (there's always a but)- all the yucky stuff, all that hurt, anger, jealousy, fear, pride, whatever yucky stuff that might be there (resentment, fear are some of my big ones)...seems so weak and pale when compared to the joy and love that actually exist in my life.

When I am in my dark and twisty place, things can look so bleak. Hurts and fears seem so huge and it feels like I will never conquer them.

But when I finally catch a glimpse of the hope and joy that is there- it's like "poof!" All that darkness and gloom dissapates.

And you know why? Because the things that hold all that darkness together and in place is so weak that it can't hold up against the force of love. It's because it takes about a hundred bad days to get me to a dark and twisty place, but only one good day to get me out. Because love- and all the emotions and things that are love (like goodness, joy, hope, etc) are so much stronger than the bad stuff.

It's like in the movies where the few good guys hold off and defeat the multitudes of bad guys. It's against all odds, that the good side wins and peace prevails. Mathematically, it shouldn't happen this way. But it does.

That's because it takes more strength and courage to choose to have hope and faith and live out a place of true love and joy for one day than it does to live out of a place of hopelessness and despair for a lifetime.

Love will always be stronger than hate. Joy will always dissapate anger. And hope will always prevail against despair.

It takes more guts to love knowing your heart can be broken than to refuse to love because your heart can be broken. It takes way more courage to have faith, than to be without it.

So, in all that rambling- what I am trying to say is:

That in the end, Love wins. Everytime.

It is from the numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope. And as they cross each other from a million different centers of energy, they dare those ripples to build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.

-South African delegate to UN (1966)

Hebrews 11.1

I would rather travel a thousand miles alone than one mile with someone who didn't believe I could reach my destination…..

I would rather tread on my own in the water than use a life vest that would fail me halfway to the shore…

I would rather stand alone than be in an emotionless embrace for false security…

I would rather cry my tears in solitude than share them with someone who will turn their back on my hurt…

I would rather come home to an empty house every night than to live with a cheap imitation of love for fifty years…

I would rather your silence than your forced words of emotionless platitudes….

I would rather hold hope in the possibility of the future than to settle for the illusion of achievement in the present…

I choose to have confidence that God will provide for tomorrow rather than to doubt and store away the rusted treasure in the today...

... I remember the lilies....

...the wheels on the bus keep going....

My older sister Ashley

(for better or worse the one of the many voices in my head)

She doesn't choreograph dances, she tells stories through movement and music.

She is a free spirit.

She is one of the most compassionate people I know.

She has never lost faith in me.
She never forgets to tell me how great I am.

When she looks at me, she sees me at my best potential.

She answers to no one. She follows her own drumbeat.

She saw her dreams, and is working to get there.

I wanted to be her for the first half of my life, and then when I realized I never could, I started to really appreciate what a unique soul she was.

The girl can cook!

10 minutes with her is better for my soul than an hour in therapy.

Everyone should know her.

She is sassy, and I love her.