fairy tales

As children, we grow up on fairy tales. We were told them before bed, we watched Disney make magical movies about them, and we acted them out as we played pretend as children.
For children, fairy tales are wonderfully magical stories full of hope and perfect happy endings. Stories full of princesses, princes, wicked queens who never win, fairy godmothers, elves and dwarfs.

However, most people do not know that fairy tales began as stories that were told to adults full of gruesome and cruel darkness. These stories were not intended for children in the least. Actually, most fairy tales came to be as stories women told as their way of rebelling against the constraints placed upon them by the restrictive societies they live in.
How is that something with a beginning and elements so dark within them have becomes something that children dream about and celebrate?

We treat fairy tales now as something to be achieved and as the perfect story to try and obtain, but in reality they were never meant for this purpose. To strive to try and achieve a fairy tale life is to try and strive to achieve something that doesn’t exist and was never intended to exist.
Fairy tales began as a way for the oppressed to speak out about what they suffered without actually doing so. These stories were their way of highlighting the dark truth of what they suffered. However, throughout the centuries we have squeezed the darkness out of these tales and replaced them with trivial light. And these stories, void of their original intent, are what we tell are children. And subsequently, what all children end up trying to achieve.

Now I love Disney’s Cinderella as much as the next person, but I’ve come to realize that life will never work like this particular version of a fairy tale. That things don’t always work out, that fairy godmothers don’t always prevail, and that sometimes there is no perfect solution or happy ending.

I’m not saying that life is devoid of happiness or magical moments, but I’m saying that setting our children up to strive for a perfect “fairy tale” ending that actually never existed is unrealistic and unfair.

Life is hard. Life is messy. Life is occasional dark and sometimes cruel. And we should not shield ourselves from that truth. We should recognize and acknowledge it. We should learn how to survive those times, so that we can come out triumphant on the other side.

I guess what I’m saying is that we should all realize that life is not a fairy tale in the way we know it. That there will be darkness and hardship and sometimes no perfect happy ending.
But I’m also trying to say that this doesn’t mean life isn’t wonderful, magical, or full of wonderful moments.

I think what makes life so amazing is that constant contrast of light and dark. That despite the hard times, we are able to still recognize what good there is. That despite the hurt, we are still able to feel hope and joy. That even when we are broken, we know that someday there will be wholeness again. I think if we are just honest enough with ourselves to stop expecting a Disney fairy tale life, we might end up more satisfied with the tale we are actually living in.