I have a series of books that I use for the times when I suffer from writer's block. They are called the "If" books. I have "If", "If2", "If-questions for the soul", and "If- how far will you go".

Probably my favorite one of these to work from is the "How far will you go" one. Because this book makes you set boundaries. It makes you mark the areas of back and white. It refuses to let you seek comfort in the shades of gray. It asks you for absolutes.

I think that it, occasionally, is good for us to be forced to set our boundaries. Most of us bank on the experience of the shades of gray. We depend on people allowing us to float back and forth between the black and white depending upon our current mood/situation/community. But sometimes, its good for us to sit back and really consider what we believe and what we are wiling to do at the honest gut level.

I think that defining my boundaries is especially good for me. Because usually, I have a hard time being absolutely honest. I'm one of those people who are entirely comfortable letting everyone else lay all their cards on the table, without ever sharing my hand. And I don't mean to be like this. I don't mean to hold back. I don't mean to be less than honest or less than forthcoming. It's that I'm afraid.

There I said it. I'm afraid to really say what I think, I feel, I believe. I'm afraid to show people my boundaries. My black and my white. What if they dissaprove? What if they reject it? Make fun of it?

I try to look back and figure out when I became of afraid of being completely honest. Of putting myself out there. I think, on some level at least, I've always been kind of a people pleaser. A kid who has always been afraid of disappointing, letting people down, or of not being perfect.

But you know what, I'm human. I'm not perfect. I'm going to say/do/believe things that people disagree with. That other people will want me to do otherwise. And I think I'm finally learning that that is ok. That its alright to not have everyone agree with me. To approve of my choices. To think my decisions are the right ones.

Because in the end, I'm the only person who has to live my life. I'm the only person who has to spend time in my head and in my heart. I'm the only person who can make my choices, live my life, and define my boundaries. And I'm the only one who needs to find peace with them.